One of the things I love about being self-employed is that I get to make all the decisions. One of the things I don’t love about being self-employed is the same thing. Some days, by 4pm, the idea of choosing dinner – making one more decision – feels like too much. (For this, meal planning ahead of time works well for me. Paprika is one of my favourite phone apps.)

As business owners, we need to decide what to offer, what to charge, how to get the word out, with whom we’ll collaborate, which experts to follow, which experts to stop following, which skills need nurturing, what we’re already doing well enough… whether we are doing the right things. In the online realm, we are inundated with information and recommendations. Sometimes two different roads are equally appealing and there’s only you to choose between them. It’s a lot of responsibility. And filtering the data – both concrete and intuitive – requires considerable energy. Decision-making is taxing, even for the decisive. Especially when people are relying on us.

For the last two years, I’ve been sitting with what feels to me like a big question. I rely heavily on my intuition and, with this particular question, I wasn’t getting a clear answer. I needed help interpreting the information I was getting… and I needed other ways of accessing the information than what I’ve always done. So I reached out to friends for advice, asking “How do you make decisions when both choices are right?” and now, combined with my own, I have a list of different ways to approach decision-making, which I like so much, I want to share it with you, fellow big decision-makers.

Carrie

1. Free-write in a journal exploring the question and possible answers without judging what comes out. Write until there’s nothing left to write.
2. Flip a coin. (If you’re happy with the result, stick with it. If you’re not, you have your answer.)
3. Draw a mandala. Here’s how. (That one’s from my creative stylist-friend Wendy.)
4. Consult a trusted intuitive. Laurie Anne Kingis mine and has been a guide for 15 years now. Carmen Spagnola comes so very highly recommended too.
5. Give it (more) time and wait for clarity.
6. Spend a day pretending/living as though you’ve made the decision. (Then do the same with the other choice.) What sorts of things would you do and not do? How do you feel in this life? (This is an exercise I learned from Randi Buckley that I use A LOT. It came up in her Maybe Baby program that I cannot recommend more highly.)
7. Have a Tarot reading. I’ve worked with the lovely Elle North. I’ve heard great things about Theresa Reed, too.
8. Close your eyes. Put each choice in a corner of the room, then imagine yourself sitting in each. Where do you feel comfortable/warm/expansive/happy? Where do you feel restricted/constrained/cold? The feelings may be subtle but usually you’ll be able to read a difference. (This is an exercise I recommend as a small part of the pricing work in The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business program.)
9. Pray. Whatever that looks like for you.
10. Walk a labyrinth.
11. Move your body in a way that disrupts your thinking. A hard run, a long walk, yoga… Dance for six fast songs in a row.
12. Stand near a moving body of water. The negative ions help.
13. Call your mom.
14. Have a session of equine therapy. (Jennifer Schramm’s Breakthrough Intensive was how I finally got my own big answer, plus more, this week – it’s seriously worth flying in for, if you’re not near Toronto.)
15. My genius friend Sarah Selecky, the mind behind The Daily Prompts, gave me this question, “If you were a creature with no language, what direction would smell the tastiest?” I love that.
16. Imagine yourself three years from now looking back. Which decision looks better from that vantage point? How about from ten years on? Or – let’s get dramatic – from your deathbed?
17. Follow NASA on Instagram and contemplate the galaxy. It can put a decision in perspective. And the images – WOW. (That’s another from Sarah.)
18. Take one drop of jack-in-the-pulpit flower essence in a little water and then give yourself some quiet time indoors or – even better – in nature.
19. Meditate.
20. If your questions are business-related, you could schedule Gentle Business Advice with me.
21. Ask an elder.
22. Place your hand on your heart and just feel what you are feeling. Usually an answer is on the other side.
23. Write out a conversation between you and your indecision. Ask it questions, write down its answers.
24. Surrender the idea that there is a “right” choice. Just choose and see where it leads. And if it doesn’t lead where you feel called, just choose again then. (This is inspired by my friend, Jennifer.)
25. Book a [Spotlight Session with Tanya Geisler](http://www.tanyageisler.com/spotlight-session/). That lady’s mind is lightning.
26. Use a pendulum and ask it yes or no questions. (I have a rose quartz one on a silver chain that is really pretty.)
27. Collect more data for each of the choices. Google. Go the library. Dip your toe in each option.
28. Open a book to a random page (usually inspiring books are best but any will work) and find the message for you there.
29. Pull an oracle card from a deck you like.
30. Assemble a small personal council of trusted advisors who know what you value and who you are and who wish you highest good, and ask them. (Or ask them how they make decisions, and you might get your own excellent list.)

If you found this list helpful, I think you’ll appreciate my semi-regular newsletter (and subscriber-only special offer codes)…

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Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired small business owners and self-employed people in helping professions. She also writes workbooks at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs, and is the founder of The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business.™

I’m going to tell you what’s wrong with me but, first, let’s talk about music because it eventually (sorta) connects. Right now, there’s a song on my iPhone I’ve been listening to on repeat. There is a bit of a formula to what my husband refers to as Carrie Songs (just as there’s a formula for Carrie Dresses and Carrie Meals — we like what we like!). A Carrie Song needs a guitar and a singer-songwriter (extra points for male and female singer-songwriters who sing together); it’s generally in the genre of “alternative folk” and it should gradually build and promptly finish in under 3:30. There’s a little more to it but those are the basics. Once Had by Keston Cobblers Cub totally fits it. The hook is this repeated line, “…and awkward silences they go on and on and on and on and on and on and on…” (If you’d like to preview the song, here it is on iTunes – it’s track 8.) It’s that line that has a business lesson.

If you dated me in 2008, you know that my Lavalife profile promised “awkward silences.” A lot of nice men responded to that profile and I had coffee or dinner with them, and they didn’t mind my awkward silences at all. In fact, they were sometimes awkwardly silent themselves, which didn’t bother either of us because we had an understanding before we even sat down at the table. It was lovely. And one of those men ended up marrying me.

When you name an awkward thing, it loses its awkwardness and I think it even becomes charming.

I hear that song, and those words remind me of the woman who typed that profile with a f*** it attitude. Here’s me. Like me, don’t like me. It’s all fine. But I don’t want you to be disappointed. I don’t want you to feel sold to.

And with that, the signature of my spirit was somehow transmitted through those keystrokes and pixels and I didn’t come across as flawed so much as different, individual, maybe even interesting. What’s “wrong” with me is that I’m terrible at small talk (I detest it) and will panic if I can’t think of something to say next and will be so busy dying inside that the only words that come to mind will be SAYSOMETHINGSAYSOMETHING, which isn’t helpful. I was open about it. “If you have coffee with me, here’s what it will be like…. and I will drink tea.” And that small experiment in proclaiming my shortcomings has led to great things, not least of which is a very fine husband.

Our businesses are all just containers for relationships. Being honest and vulnerable creates space for genuine connection (a key principle of Kind Business), and it gives the recipient permission to be honest and vulnerable. It’s liberating for everyone.

But here’s the other thing, as it relates to marketing, specifically… I know that a lot of sensitive people hold back from launching things and from writing offer pages because they don’t want to disappoint. Honesty and vulnerability are the cure for that! You can say “I’m really good at x, y, z but I’m not able to give you a, b, c…” “I can help you cope with [blank] but I won’t heal you.” “I need time to consider things, so I never do meetings by phone, only email.” “I sometimes get so inspired in consultation calls that I rush from one idea to the next and it can be hard to follow, so I will always provide a transcript to you within 48 hours, and you may followup with questions by email.”

Just tell people what it will be like with you. You will feel safer that way. And I think you’ll be delighted. Turns out, some people really dig the awkward girls.

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Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired small business owners and self-employed people in helping professions. She also writes workbooks at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs, and is the founder of The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business.™

I was feeling scattered and shy. I’d gotten lost on the way to the workshop and was late (I really, really do not like to be late) and then, once I arrived at the correct address finally, I couldn’t figure out how to get into the building (so close and yet….!) and ended up being spotted, peeking through the windows, by none other than the facilitator, himself, who had to stop his presentation to let me in. Hello, room. I greeted everyone with a little wave and tried my best to pretend I didn’t abhor being the centre of attention, and I took the first seat I saw and put my head down to scribble notes and hide the rising blush. That was 2009. It was fall turning to winter. And it was the first time I met Tad Hargrave, a man I never should have blushed in front of because, knowing now what I know of him and of myself, I couldn’t have been safer than in his company.

The workshop was an introduction to “marketing for hippies” (Tad’s business, if you don’t know him, is Marketing for Hippies) and while I’d already been a professional marketer (for hippies and more) for some years, Tad thought I should come just to meet some nice people. I’m thinking about this today because I’ve been thinking about my tagline for Pink Elephant Academy, and Tad’s workshop (which I so recommend because, turns out, even professional marketers can learn a lot from him) was the place I wrote it: Guilt-free, do-it-yourself marketing for nice people. When I think about that line, I’m invited to think about the woman who wrote it, and why.

Just as Marketing for Hippies is about marketing and hippies but is also about Tad’s social philosophies and his leadership in a movement towards more human and spiritual commerce and service, Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs is about the practical stuff of DIY marketing that doesn’t feel icky and is about something else. In so many ways, Pink Elephant Academy has been about liberation. I have wanted to give you (and me… and the parts of me you can relate to) permission to be in business (and be in life) as you are.

When I say I want your marketing to be guilt-free, what I’m really saying is that I want you to use your voice without feeling shame for it.

I want you to speak. I want you to know there is no guilt in taking the floor, in taking attention, in asking to be heard, in wanting to be heard.

It’s all metaphor. Marketing is voice. Voice is space.

Oh, man, the Universe is full of winks.

When I started writing this very note, I actually had no intention of writing what I’ve written. Marketing = voice = space? Well, yes, but my plan had been to talk about the role of the feminine in business (another post – I have so much to say about that!). As this took shape and as I wrote the word voice, a Facebook notification came in that I’d been tagged in a post about a podcast interview I did months ago. A challenge from the Universe! And a gentle question: Are you still that blushing woman at the workshop, embarrassed to be taking attention, to be taking too much (or any) space?

{a pause while I think about that}

I can still relate to that lady, for sure, yes, but I am not the woman in the workshop today because I was the woman in the workshop then. And she was welcomed. (Thanks, Tad, and friendly room of hippies!)

I am still very much learning to use my voice (literally and otherwise) to claim space in the world, so, in the spirit of practice, I am telling you about this podcast. If I’m going to ask you to use your voice, to take up space, I’d best be willing, too. Here’s where you can hear the ineffably beautiful and wise Carmen Spagnola interview me as part of her The Numinous Podcast series. I’m beyond honoured to be included in the company she keeps. And for her intuitive kindness in making space for me to be heard. And to you, dear reader, for “hearing” me.

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Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired small business owners and self-employed people in helping professions. She also writes workbooks at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs, and is the founder of The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business.™

It’s not at all serious but I am dealing with some health stuff that has me researching different treatment options. There’s a specific approach that I’ve felt drawn to, but I’ve been able to locate very few of these practitioners in my city. A google search quickly found the fellow nearest me.

Because I’m a marketer (among other things), I can recognize a slick sales funnel from a mile away. I am not a fan of slick but I can push myself to overlook it if I like the practitioner. So I scheduled a consultation to meet him in person. (Sometimes nice folks hire slick marketers to help them build their practices and end up with something that doesn’t *feel* like them at all but they don’t know how to get out of it.)

Our appointment was today. I stood up just five minutes into the consult to leave. And I felt uncomfortable that I had shared with him any of my personal health information. Everything about how he spoke to me felt condescending and arrogant. I can’t claim to read his intentions but it certainly seemed that he wanted me to feel small, and very much in need of him. Sadly, there was a time in my life when that would have worked. (Thank god that time is over.)

It bothered me to think of the other women (and men) who have been in that same seat, and the ones who would return to it because they don’t know they have choices. I spent the twenty-minute ride home writing in my head a scathing, forewarning online review. Oh, it was a work of vindictive genius. But I don’t want to hurt another person’s business (particularly when I can’t be sure he wasn’t just having a very bad day.) It was enough to fantasize about it.

There was something, though, I wanted to write still. I wanted to write to you. You, dear person, who is in a helping profession. People like me and like us need to know that people like you are out there and available. People like me, who are feeling tender and who need some respectful counsel, need to be able to find you. Because otherwise, we end up in places that aren’t very nice.

Telling the people who need your help that you are available (which is marketing) is an essential part of your CARE. I know so many don’t like marketing and I get it — you don’t want to impose and you don’t want to be holding your hand out, making asks when you’d rather just give. But I want you to see that when you resist marketing, what you’re also doing is being … well .. unwelcoming.

Right now, somewhere, there is a woman feeling vulnerable about her health or her pregnancy or her feelings and she is sitting in the office of someone she googled and she is not feeling safe or heard and it will not be gentle for her and she is only there because she doesn’t know that there is a you. You, with a fresh pot of herbal tea brewing. You with your kind ear. She needs you.

So update your website or send that newsletter or sponsor a post on Facebook or skywrite. Introduce yourself to that lady, and put the kettle on.

Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired small business owners and self-employed people in helping professions. She also writes workbooks at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs, and is the founder of The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business.™

Two weeks ago, in one of my neighbourhood Facebook forums, I saw a post about a health clinic with a reflexologist on staff that had just opened around the corner from me. I’d been looking for a new reflexologist since we moved to this part of town three years ago so I was excited. I found their website and — joy! — they have online booking. (They use Cliniko, a web-based booking service I hadn’t seen before. Maybe worth checking out if you’re in a similar business?)

The calendar showed one opening for the week and it was at 11am, the next morning. My first reaction was delight — I wouldn’t have to wait. And then my next reaction was something different.

I considered my to-do list for the next day. I had time to fit in the treatment, but I wanted the opening to be in the evening instead of the morning so that it could be my reward. So that I could feel like I’d earned it.

I am a master of delayed gratification.

A lot of the time, I think it’s a good way to be.

But as the happiness drained from me, I paused just long enough to reconsider my position. And, you know what? Rest isn’t a reward. Rest is a necessity. (When did I forget that?)

In a strange paradox, for those of us who provide services, our businesses are separate entities and they are us. I am my business like you are your business. We’re never apart. And for creative people like us, there is always an idea to pursue, always a running stream of What I Could Do Next. And, honestly, part of me loves that. I love the ideas that come in the shower and while I’m brushing my teeth. I love that I always have a mental list of ideas to dive into. I like making things.

But it means, as I’ve set it up for myself, that there is no end to it. There is no Flinstones bell ringing at 5pm. There’s no Human Resources manager telling me I have vacation time I must use up or I’ll lose it.

In the second year of my business, I had a moment of clarity around this same lesson when I realized that I didn’t actually have to work weekends. I could decide that the “office” was closed from Friday night to Monday morning. It’s so obvious, but, for me, it was revolutionary.

The reflexology appointment’s been another revolution. I need to write it for myself again:

So, I booked the morning appointment and, as you’d probably expect, it made me more productive that afternoon.

Okay, so “rest isn’t a reward.” Got it. Nothing more to learn here (again), right?

Oh, of course there was. As soon as I think I have something figured out, I find a way to create the situations that will show me all the ways I totally don’t.

My dear friend Wendy (she’s also my favourite stylist) is the kind of friend every woman needs at least one of. Among other things, she is a creative plan initiator and not just an initiator, but she makes good things happen. After one of those you-know-what-we-should-do-one-day conversations, she found a Scandinavian spa and booked a two-night escape for four of us. (I actually launched my program, The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business, while I was in the woods of Quebec because technology is magic and because the incomparable Nita agreed to woman the desk for us alone and because I decided a few launches ago to stop worrying about launches.)

I’m a gal who is cold year-round except for the height of summer here in Toronto, so the first place I headed was the sauna.

I settled my back into the cedar bench and readied myself for relaxation.

My mind rushed. My nervous system buzzed.

After the sauna, I went to the next station, a cold pool, and after the cold pool, you’re to relax for twenty minutes. So, I went to the relaxation chalet, and thought about … everything.

My mind rushed. My nervous system buzzed.

Two more cycles of this and I began to feel some of the tension in my body releasing. Some of it. (My husband teases me that I spend a lot of time with my shoulders up at my ears. I really do lose myself — including the proper shape of my spine — happily writing at my desk.) The tension in my mind, though, it had a stronghold. And it’s not that I was worrying or problem-solving (although, yes, I was doing those things too) so much as I just couldn’t feel peaceful. Have I been resting long enough? I want to be doing the next relaxing thing to really make this relaxing happen.

It was in one of these “resting” cycles that I got the other half of the Rest Lesson: I’ve actually forgotten how to really rest.

I didn’t know a person could do that. I’m good about booking a massage when my shoulder blades knit themselves together. I’m good about asking my husband to handle the toddler bedtime routine when I’m feeling spent. I’m good about meditating before a project and praying at the end of the day.

I do a lot of things that have the appearance of relaxation/renewal/rest. I’m very pro-rest, philosophically speaking. But I rarely surrender to Actual Rest.

Oh.

A-ha.

Some people run on coffee all day. I think I’ve had a tendency to run on low-grade anxiety that masquerades as creative energy. Or maybe it is creative energy? Whatever it is, it isn’t restful.

I wonder if you have a little of this affliction too? And if you do, and you would like permission to rest (and, if you’re like me, permission to practice resting so you can get good at it again), then please let this be that. As self-employed people, there are so many permissions we have to remember to grant ourselves. It’s okay to need a blog post to give you (and me) a friendly reminder nudge.

Rest is a requirement. I want you to have plenty of it. Almost more than you can handle. Because it’s the healers and helpers and creative spirits who have the most to offer when they’re replenished and I want more of what you’ve got to give.

The photo at the top of this post is taken from Nordik, the most wonderful spa I’d ever experienced. If you are ever near Ottawa, I so recommend a visit.

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Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired small business owners and self-employed people in helping professions. She also writes workbooks at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs, and is the founder of The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business.™

I read an article in The Atlantic that my friend, Carmen Spagnola (do you know her work? she’s an exquisite person) posted – Home Economics: The Link Between Work-Life Balance and Income Equality by Stephen Marche. It was published in July 2013 and remains relevant. The extract describes his article this way:
“The central conflict of domestic life right now isn’t men versus women or mothers versus fathers; it’s the family against money.” And although he’s writing from his own experience – a working father in a heterosexual marriage – and the topic he’s chosen is work-life balance for working parents, I think there’s an analogy here for everyone who seeks to work and live with purpose. Which is all of us, right?

Purpose, obviously, isn’t just for parents.

Marche wants policy reforms that support children and he wants more feminist men to raise their voices for this because supporting children means supporting families which means supporting everyone. And, specifically, he wants more affordable childcare. In his experience, affordable childcare is what allows parents to feel supported in creating the kinds of lives they want for themselves.

I am with him in being in favour of affordable childcare, but/and, again, I see it as an analogy. We all need specific (and varying) supports to do the work we feel called to contribute (coaching, writing a screenplay, raising a child, all three?).

A few months ago, I was invited to a friend’s cottage and had hours to sit and talk with three thoughtful, intelligent, creative, insightful women, one of whom is my friend Sarah Selecky, who is an author and writing coach. After confessing I wanted to write a book but couldn’t now because so much of my time is devoted to other responsibilities, and, anyway, I have no idea where to start…, she said something I needed to hear.

I suspect I will remember this moment for all of my life. Already I’ve returned to it 1,000 times. Sarah was sitting in a worn chair in front of a window and the morning sun came through the trees and through the glass pane to light up her blonde hair and she said, “Carrie, what you need is scaffolding.”

On one level, she meant for the book. There are existing structures that any writer could borrow and then fill in with her own “stuff.” It’s the same reason I think my own website writing workbooks are so effective. (Novels have a million different stories but a limited number of plot structures. Websites have a million different businesses but a set number of marketing communication principles to follow.) But she also meant for my life.

She knew all I needed was scaffolding, structure, supports… so that I could do the things I wanted to do.

What I realized on the drive home from that cottage was that I already had the scaffolding; I just needed to reconfigure it a little bit, something I’d done before several times.

Sometimes we forget that we already have everything we need. Or that we know where to find it, if we don’t.

Pink Elephant, this business, is my scaffolding. I reorganized my offerings a little bit and I gave myself the support I needed to fulfill my personal responsibilities and take on a new personal project (and by November of this year, I expect I will have completed the first draft of my book).

Self-employment does for me what affordable childcare does for Mr. Marche – it grants me the freedom to make the contributions I wish to make at the levels I wish to make them. I have solved his problem for myself in my way, and it was only this morning, in reading his article, that I realized again what a powerful force small business and self-employment can be. It’s my own private policy reform (with reverberations beyond me).

There can be overlap in the slices of this pie and sometimes all the “wife-ing” time belongs to Pink Elephant or to “mothering” and some days, there’s no Carrie Time, and lest you think that 10% is decadent, part of it comes out of the pie chart slice I’d have for sleep and it also has to include luxurious things like brushing my teeth. All in all, though, I like the balance of my life and what it allows me to accomplish.

Feminism is nothing more than the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. My husband and I both get to work. My husband and I both get comparable opportunities to parent together and separately. My husband and I both get to pursue personal projects. Because of my little business, we are supported in fulfilling our personal and familial responsibilities but also our individual interests and purposes. Pink Elephant allows my husband and I both to have unconventional work schedules and when we’re not together as a family or as a couple or working, we have our own creative endeavors. Because of my little business, neither of us is restricted by old ideas of gender roles and we both have the scaffolding to create the kinds of lives we each want to live. (And this also would be true for me, alone, if I were on my own.)

We aren’t rich but we are wealthy.

In his piece, Marche takes exception to Sheryl Sandberg’s call for women to “lean in” and do what’s necessary to lead. (He argues that without affordable childcare – his preferred scaffolding for people who are parents – it’s unrealistic.) I agree with Sandberg that we need more women in corporate and government leadership roles – we need more diverse perspectives across the board. And, in truth, as a woman and feminist, I’ve sometimes wondered if I have taken myself too far out of that conversation. I threw my arms up in surrender and left the corporate world. My ambitions do not include a CEO title. Am I shirking responsibility?

I don’t think so anymore.

Some feminists should be in political office so that we can vote for them. Some feminists should run multi-national corporations so they can institute more humane policies. And some of us should continue creating an entirely different paradigm of work, one that isn’t hierarchical, one that is balanced between personal and professional fulfillment, one that recognizes all people as whole people and allows for human contributions including _and beyond_ those that generate financial revenue.

My business didn’t do any of this in the beginning because it didn’t support me. At that time, it was an escape. (And escapes are important. They are often the first essential steps. I am resolutely in favour of escapes.) But now, now my business holds me up. And I determine the worth of my time. I determine the division of my time.

There is no glass ceiling here because I’m not even in the building. I’m busy building something else. A lot of us are. You are.

And, as I think about it, my business is helping other feminists to do the same (whether they call themselves feminists or not). The aim of The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business is to help self-employed people (primarily in helping professions) to structure their businesses so that they can support themselves in living whole lives. (If you think you might be interested, add your name to the wait-list for the next session of The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business here.)

All of us here, we are doing work differently, and every time we make a success of this self-employment thing (and support others who are too), we don’t dismantle the patriarchal hierarchy of modern corporate work so much as we move to make it less relevant, which is such a beautiful way of kinda doing the same thing.

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Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired small business owners and self-employed people in helping professions. She also writes workbooks at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs, and is the founder of The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business.™

Arwyn Todd is a web developer and technology enthusiast who loves wrangling WordPress sites and putting systems in place to help small businesses run smoothly. She believes technology is an important tool for every small business and that it doesn’t have to be intimidating. Read more about Arwyn here…

Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired small business owners and self-employed people in helping professions. She also writes workbooks at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs, and is the founder of The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business.™

During the pricing module of The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business™, there are often questions about how to budget for new expenses. What does a bookkeeper cost? Or a virtual assistant? Or website hosting? Since I just completed a tabulation of Pink Elephant’s business expenses for 2014, I can share what *I* spend on some of these things. It might be helpful?

• Subscriptions for online services (monthly invoicing, e-newsletter, e-course, digital product fulfillment
• software expenses): $1166
• Virtual assistance: $5854
• Wifi: $335
• Website hosting + domains: $448
• Cell phone: $821
• PayPal fees and bank service charges: $1884
• Office supplies: $624
• Bookkeeping: $406
• Marketing and promotion: $1142
• Professional development/education/training: $4928*

*I took some amazing online courses last year but seeing that number all in one lump sum made me realize that I could and should spend at least half of it on self-care instead of self-development, this year. Alfred, my dear massage therapist, here I come!

If you’re feeling called to get the math side of your business in order (with as little math as possible), you might be interested in a short and sweet course of study over at the Pink Elephant School of Kind Business.

 Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired small business owners and self-employed people in helping professions. She also writes workbooks and leads business workshops at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs, and is the founder of the Pink Elephant School of Kind Business™.

If you have wifi, you’ve probably heard of Marie Forleo. She’s an impressive lady and her online business training program called B-School is EVERYWHERE right now. My inbox and Facebook newsfeed overfloweth with invitations from her affiliates. Yours too, I bet.

The marketer in me is fascinated.

The success of her affiliate program is easy to understand; she generously gives $1000 for every sign-up so there’s extra incentive there to spread the word and to add value (thus all the competing B-School bonuses on the way). This morning, I was reading about the latest ISIS brutality (the morning is when I try to catch up on world news) and there was Marie’s smiling face in a banner ad atop the article. (Seriously, she’s everywhere!) So she’s done a pretty significant online media buy too. And of course there’s MarieTV, her weekly online video segments, and her blog posts; both are a thing of content marketing beauty. And PR? I mean, the lady’s been interviewed by Oprah! She’s got that handled.

And then (hi!) there’s me.

I also offer an online business training program that is open for enrolment right now. I don’t have the same voice-power. This has been true all the years we’ve both been running our programs but this is the first time we’ve been doing the same thing in different ways at the same time… and the contrast really gave me reason to pause today.

Marie’s made something great that people love and know.

I haven’t taken B-School, of course, but I hear good things. And while our programs aren’t the same, my sense is that there really is a lot of overlap in content and objectives between B-School and The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business.™ Soooo, I wondered this morning Maybe I should find something else to do? Not because mine isn’t as good or I have less to offer, but because Marie’s got a very popular solution to the same problem. Maybe Marie’s got this covered? (And more than covered.)

(Have you ever felt this way?)

As I was walking up the stairs to shower, a conversation about Bob Dylan came to mind. I have a gifted singer-songwriter friend who told me he would never record an album because the first time he heard  Bob Dylan, he knew he couldn’t do better. It breaks my heart. I KNOW that the world needs both of their voices.

I like Dylan but my iTunes collection would be pretty sad if it were just him on shuffle.

So, is Marie my Bob? Maybe a little. But just a little. I do understand – when I think about it – that our voices both have value and appeal (this isn’t about comparing us) but the place I trip when it comes to the it’s-already-being-done-by-someone-more-popular line of thinking is this: what if I have nothing new to say?

(Have you ever wondered this?)

Bob helped me out here too. Me and Marie, we’re not saying exactly the same things, but let’s say we were. Let’s say our material was virtually identical (because business basics are business basics, after all). How many people have covered Dylan songs and done it well? A lot. A LOT. And there are some awesome covers, made entirely the singers’ own. (Here are just fifty – I want recordings of them all!)

These songs are good because of the words and because of the sound but also, we all know this, there is something intangible; this sounds so cheesy but I’ll say it: the chords are imbued with essence, and that’s what people want and need. When there is something true in how we write a song or how we sing someone else’s (or how we coach a client through a difficult transition or demonstrate a yoga pose or place an acupuncture needle or knead a knotted back), others can feel it and it’s in that meeting place that we connect. And THAT is the whole point of business. It’s just another way of finding the places we’re each whole. The places we each already know each other.

At least I think so.

If I had to guess from the outside, I’d say that the Marie experience is like an awesome club with throngs of people all dancing together with an amazing DJ. (I went to Danielle LaPorte’s book launch in NYC a few years ago and Marie was gorgeous and luminous and dancing so that’s what I’m drawing on for reference material. An aside? I brought my husband and he was one of about three men. For him, it was memorable.) And the Carrie experience is more like a candlelit dinner party with softly spoken and deeply considered conversations, with French indie rock playing quietly in the background. I like the sound of both.

What I am trying to say (especially to myself) is that just because someone else is doing something similar in a big way, it doesn’t mean what we are doing – the work, itself – is less big. When it comes to truth and beauty and connection, scale and volume are really pretty irrelevant.

Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired small business owners and self-employed people in helping professions. She also writes workbooks at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs, and is the founder of The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business.™

Every season there are more and more “how to make money doing what you love” programs with really compelling sales pages. And while I’ve written before on the subject of what icks me out about The Glorification of More, what I want to talk about here is how hard it is to assess our own business needs and our own abilities in the face of so many confidently-presented program offers.

The sales page script is something like this: I used to have the same problem you have but then I solved it and you can too if you do as I do. Click here to buy.

I know I sometimes think “Oh, maybe I need THAT?” when, before hearing about a certain program, I’d been pretty sure I needed something else. Or – ha! – that I hadn’t needed anything.

Because I don’t know enough about the solution, I have to trust that if the “problem” the expert describes having solved sounds a lot like mine, then her solution will work for me. It seems like reasonable logic. And in the absence of other information, it’s really all I have to work with.

What that expert needed to learn (and then teach) may not be what you need to learn or what I need to learn. I wish sales pages wouldn’t presume to know what we need to learn, or speak with such authority on the subject, but I don’t think it’s malevolence – more a case of everything looking like a nail when you’re a hammer.

So what to do about this? Well, I’ve been studying self-employment for several years and have had the privilege of seeing behind the scenes of small businesses that are successful and those that are struggling and, from my vantage point, clear patterns have emerged.

I’ve also identified an order to these skills. Each lays a more solid foundation for the one that follows. (In my case, I had a good handle on clear communication and client empathy but because I was weak in understanding sustainable pricing, I struggled.)

1. Client empathy

Successful small business owners know their clients and feel their clients. Because their understanding is empathetic, they offer the specific services that are needed and communicate them in a way that makes their marketing compassionate (and compelling).

2. A solid understanding of sustainable pricing methods

Successful small business owners know how to price their offerings. They use basic math, taking much of the emotion right out of it.

(This is a core module of The Pink Elephant School of Kind Business™ because it was my own biggest lesson.)

3. Clear communication

Successful small business owners know how to explain what they do clearly, genuinely, and originally so that people understand, remember, and tell others. It’s not about scripts; it’s about clarity and, ultimately, kindness.

(The website writing workbooks in the Pink Elephant Academy Bookstore are designed for exactly this purpose, and How to Write a Lovable Homepage is our best-seller.)

4. Website savvy

Successful small business owners don’t necessarily know how to code their own websites from scratch (although that’s a handy skill if you’ve got the time and interest) but they do know how to do (or delegate) basic maintenance and how to organize the content of their site. The experience and design of their websites reflect the spirit and heart of their businesses. Their websites do a lot of the work for them (and sometimes, all of the work).

5. Community building

There are a lot of sales programs that can teach you “techniques” for closing deals but I find it feels much better and is far more sustainable to be surrounded by people who like and support you. Successful small business owners may or may not have big communities, but the people who like/follow/read them want to be there and are enthusiastic. There are a few different means of reaching out and building community: email marketing, blogging, social media, and public relations are four key ones. Get good at just one (and then layer in another when you’re interested in trying something new).

6. A healthy relationship with money

So many of us have ideas about money that don’t serve us well. We believe people in helping professions shouldn’t make much or that to focus on money is “bad” or “greedy” or we feel unworthy so we over- or under-spend. We can be afraid of financial success and we can be afraid of poverty and sometimes we don’t even know what mental scripts are running that are taking up valuable real estate in our beautiful minds. Successful small business owners recognize and ignore their own scripts, knowing that having a healthy relationship with money is the only way to open ourselves to receiving it and being conscious stewards of it.

7. Productivity

Successful small business owners have systems and/or support people in place so that they can be primarily focused on doing their great work in the world. They know how to optimize their personal rhythms and schedules to create a lot.

8. Personal Resource Management

Successful small business owners know it’s not selfish to take care of themselves – it’s good business sense, and they make it a priority. Their well must be full in order to be of service to their clients, their colleagues, and their families and communities.

I think if we know what specific skills are essential (and you’ve read this post so now you do), what our own business strengths and opportunities for growth are, and what trusted programs and experts support the development of each (that suit business owners like us), then we won’t feel so susceptible to the “authority” or allure of a sales page. And we’ll support real experts who are doing good work – not just money-making work.

Sometimes, it’s hard to know objectively what we’re doing well in business when our revenue or client numbers are telling us that something is wrong. Sometimes, it feels like we need every business coaching or marketing program out there – and we don’t.

I’ve developed a neat, little online self-assessment tool I’m super proud of. It takes about five minutes and will tell you how you’re scoring in each of the eight business skill areas listed above. After you’ve got your scores and can see where you’re strong and where the opportunities for development are, I also have a list of experts and programs recommended by the Pink Elephant Community, other small business owners like you and me, so you can choose experts to follow or programs to take based on information and reliable recommendations (no affiliates here!). I hope you find it very helpful.

Click here to take the (really pretty fun) Pink Elephant Business Skills Self-Assessment Quiz.

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Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired small business owners and self-employed people in helping professions. She also writes workbooks and leads business workshops at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs, and is the founder of the Pink Elephant School of Kind Business.™

I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know. Buckminster Fuller