After days of something akin to agony, I put the finishing touches on a first draft of an about page for a dear client of mine… and the whole thing got me thinking about my process, so I thought I’d share.

When someone new engages me to write for them, the first thing that happens is that Nita sends out a bit of homework, a questionnaire. Then, in the days before our project chat by skype, I sit with those questionnaire answers. 99% of the time, I read them and intuitively and immediately have a sense of the direction we’ll go. There are phrases and feelings that will jump out to me and I will feel the beginning stages of communion with this person I haven’t met yet (and yet we have met – because I believe you can meet through words).

Before our first meeting, I meditate and I pray. I ask that our connection be for the greatest good and the highest service. And then we chat and I ask lots of questions so I can get a really strong feeling of what it would be like to be vulnerable with this person, how they make that safe. That is what I’m always looking to convey in my writing for others – how it feels to be with someone.

With a notebook full of thoughts and scribbles from our interview compiled, I take at least a day away (and often three) from the project. There is percolating to do and this space, I’ve come to discover, is essential for me.

When I am ready to write, I open up my laptop and my notes and I think about the person I’m writing for and her intended audience and, again, I pray. I ask that I be a channel and that what I create – what I write – be used to connect my client and those who need her in the most loving, peaceful and healing manner. That might seem over-the-top but because my clients are all – on one level or another – healers, I think the responsibility of words is great. I’m not thinking that because I pray, every draft I write is perfect, but I do think it sets an intention and my hope is that in reading that first draft, my client feels heard and understood.

Intention set, I put my fingers to the keyboard. Sometimes the first sentences come out with ease. Sometimes, there is so much flow. But it always eventually stalls. Always. There always comes a point where things get sticky and gritty and I think I have no business being a professional writer. I doubt I can ever find the words to match the beauty of my clients’ work. I procrastinate. I muck about Facebook or answer a few dozen emails. I close up for the day, discouraged.

And then, the next day – or the day after – I get back at it, smooth all the rough spots of the first run, find a few phrases that I really love (“Hm, maybe I did get a thing or two right..”) and I complete my first draft. Along the way, I’ll be stopping to research and to consider and to think, too, lest one think all a writer does is type.

Sometimes, I have to go through the I’m pathetic/I’m okay cycle a few times in order to get that first draft out. But after 13 years as a professional writer, I’m getting more comfortable with this gritty part of the process. (Familiarity will do that.) I used to think I could skip it, but I can’t. Now I just plod through it, not stopping to lament too long. I know now that there’s always something else on the other side of the grit. And it’s usually pretty good.

First draft complete, I go through once more and clean up anything that doesn’t sing for me. I cull and cut and add and refine. I play with words. This is when it’s fun again. Actually, even the grit is fun… because it’s part of a whole that makes me feel creative and productive and vital and alive. Of service.

The next morning, the draft gets one more read and one more polish and then it makes its way from me to my client. I blow a kiss as I click Send.

And then await feedback, which is another post entirely.

~~~
Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, author-in-progress, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired entrepreneurs. She also writes workbooks and teaches workshops at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs.

A friend of mine, a fellow writer by the name of Kathe Lieber, wrote a Facebook post this morning that nestled its way right into my self-employed heart. To paraphrase, she wrote that it was thirty years ago today that she left her steady  job to “try out” freelancing and that she’s still “riding the rollercoaster.” I love this. I love that she has had the tenacity and endurance and courage and TALENT to keep at self-employment for three decades (and that she knows the anniversary date!).

Especially, I love her honesty in saying it’s still hard. There are still ups and downs – sometimes elating and sometimes harrowing.

Where you are right now, dear entrepreneur, whether in a high or a low… it’s all okay. It wouldn’t be a rollercoaster otherwise. You have permission to be in a dip and not feel stuck there. Dips are part of building momentum too, even if they don’t feel that way at the time. You, dear business owner, have made of your life a certain amusement park. That’s going to feel weird sometimes.

Another dear entrepreneurial friend confided last week that he was afraid I’d be disappointed in him when I found out he was interviewing for a salaried job. He also described his business as a “failure” as in its first 18 months, it hadn’t been able to support him. Please, everyone, know this: taking the leap into self-employment is the success. THAT is the mark of bravery and uncommon faith. That is what I will applaud every chance. Where it goes from there is in so many ways, to me, irrelevant.

But here is the other piece that really needs mentioning: most businesses don’t sustain their owners comfortably until five years in. Not having a mansion and regular tropical holidays (or just the bills paid on time) at year two isn’t failure; it’s normal. It’s part of the process. It’s one of the dips.

You know what else isn’t failure? Choosing to do something different, leaving a business and taking a job with a paycheque. My buddy thrives when surrounded by other people and the energy of that. He shouldn’t be working from home. That would be such a loss for all his future co-workers.. what a gift he will be to them. There is no shame in deciding life would be more comfortable with predictable income. You know best how to nurture your spirit and how to nurture your family. And you can do your Great Work at your kitchen table or in someone else’s boardroom just as gracefully. This I know for sure.

So as I sit here at my antique desk, sharing my seat with a sleeping cat, I’m so grateful to Kathe and to my unnamed buddy because I’m full up with admiration for them. They are both way-finders, and that is what the world needs. Their examples are blessings in my life. Thank you to you both for your creative, courageous spirits.
~~~
Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, author-in-progress, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired entrepreneurs. She also writes workbooks and teaches workshops at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs.

It’s that time of the year (in my hemisphere) when a lot of small businesses start to slow. If you’re judging by what some post on Facebook, you might feel like the only entrepreneur who isn’t thriving – but, I promise, you’re not alone. A lot of us experience a decline in income right about now.

Clients go on holidays. Projects get postponed. Invoices sometimes take longer to get paid. It’s part of the flow. Earlier in my business, this would be a great time for me to panic. “What was I thinking when I thought I could support myself as a self-employed person!?” Now that I have a few slumps under my belt, I know that the slowing is temporary. And I can even welcome it as an invitation to do three things:

1. Enjoy it. There are times when life is so busy, and those times will come again. This is an opportunity to toil in the garden, go for long walks in the evening, head to the beach or cottage. Close the office on Fridays or Mondays (or even both!). Savour the slowing. Bless it.

2. Create. That e-book you’ve been meaning to write? That course you’ve been planning to design? Pour yourself some lemonade, take the laptop out to the dock or shady porch, and just do it. Let the unhurried pace of summer be your guide here. Create slowly, with pleasure. But schedule your project creation so you’re sure to complete in time for a glorious autumn launch.

3. Nurture your business. When you’re not busy with the demands of clients and customers, it can be easy to dip into fear. Use this opening constructively, instead. Give your Facebook page or newsletter or website some extra love. (Or hire someone else to while you read in the garden.) Email people you might want to partner with about cross-promotions. Send unexpected thank-you notes to your clients. This is the perfect time to do whatever “marketing” might feel easy and fun.

~~~
Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, author-in-progress, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired entrepreneurs. She also writes workbooks and teaches workshops at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs.

Dana Boyle LaPointe is a relationship coach and lawyer in my circles. She’s also one of my favourite Facebook friends for the beauty of her posts. This morning, I found this Hafiz quote she shared especially stirring: “Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you.” So perfect! I wanted to roll around in those words. (And, at minimum, turn them into their own happy pink badge for sharing.)

I haven’t always been happy and I don’t actually know anyone who hasn’t struggled with depression. Some of my friends who seem happiest also carry within themselves great pain and darkness. I think it’s part of being aware, of being sensitive, of holding the sorrows of others too. Of being human.

I don’t talk about this often, not for shame, but because it feels so far away now, so distant from who I am truly… but in the darkest days of my own, old struggle with depression, I (insincerely) tried to end my life. I’d been through a particularly painful chapter and while I didn’t actually want to die, I did want to stop feeling the way I was feeling. It was in the hospital that it became most clear that “This isn’t me.” (It would take many more years to begin to find out what was me, though.)

Just as I believe, as feeling people, we’re all susceptible to unhappiness and depression, we’re also all given an antidote. Mine is Beauty. Because that is my pathway to reconnect with my own spirit. Depression is a symptom of disconnection. We forget we’re wonderful and lovable and divine and perfect (under all the other stuff we’ve piled on that isn’t real). We forget we come from the same Source that made the perfume of spring lilacs or the paint strokes in Botticelli’s Venus. For me, I have to turn my awareness to Beauty in order to remember what is true; that that is in me too. That is real. Eternal. Unchanging.

For some, Pleasure is their antidote to depression. For others, Silence or Community or Creation or Travel. If you think back to a time when you felt pure joy, what were you doing? That will give you a hint as to what your own spirit loves, what your truest nature is, and what will turn you towards Happiness.

Because Hafiz is so perfectly right. Happiness is running for you. Skipping and hopping and cartwheeling through the universe, just hoping you’ll turn around and open your arms. It’s that easy. As quick as a choice. A blink, a wink. In any moment. I know it now.

There is no shame in being in that cave, under that dark cloak, in being sad, but what I want you to know for sure is that, no matter what, Happiness hasn’t deserted you.

~~~
Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, author-in-progress, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired entrepreneurs. She also writes workbooks and teaches workshops at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs.

A few months ago, I invited dear readers to submit your e-courses, teleseminars and other wonders of education to share with our community – and I was amazed at the breadth and awesomeness of all that you folks are creating. So, here we are again, with another call for submissions.

Last time around, I received them all and formatted them all and, well, gosh, it was a lot of work. So I’m going a little bit easier on myself this time. You can write your own course description in the comments fields below and if they feel appropriate for the Pink Elephant community, I’ll approve and post.

Please include:

• The name of your class/program and the price
• Sign-up deadline and course dates
• A sentence or two, telling us what we’d learn
• A link to learn more and register

Please also feel welcome to share this opportunity with your friends and colleagues. You may also post details for courses that aren’t your own but that you find inspiring.

“Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.”  ~Chinese Proverb

Today is the full Strawberry Moon and that feels so perfect, not only because it’s pink and juicy but also because, as a result of a little personal announcement I shared recently, I cannot get enough organic strawberries these days. (For an exquisite treat, slice and mix them with pieces of watermelon and the juice of a lime – oh, goodness!)

There is something about a full moon that makes everything feel softer, rounder. Gentler. Our hearts feel bigger, I think. All the creative energy warms our blood. And it’s in that energy that I’m sitting right now, thinking about birth in all its senses.

Sometime around November’s Freezing Moon, I will understand birth in a new and profound way, with the arrival of our little peach. And my independent spirit is realizing – maybe for the first time – that there’s no more going it alone from here on in. Not only is there an extra little person for company but the challenge is such that it requires a circle of support. Over the coming months, because I have been so blessed by Pink Elephant that it is its own circle of generous, kind-spirited, conscious people, I will be inviting you to walk this walk with me too.

“We’re all just walking each other home.”Ram Dass

Because I don’t, just yet, know the way home. Life right now is following a path of beautiful lit candles, flickering. Many of you are mamas and papas and you know the turns I don’t yet. And while our walks will all be different, I know that there is wisdom and encouragement to share. And I want in on it!

Right now, my second trimester is a glorious surge of creative energy. (Not to be salesy here, but if you’ve been thinking about website writing or design services, this would be a good time to channel this other-worldly force!) I have visions of how Pink Elephant will shift and shape and – except for a sacred post-birth babymoon – I will still be providing the same care and services for clients. I even considered not mentioning this pregnancy here because the changes for my clients would be so imperceptible thanks to my wonderful team and the processes we already have set-up… but, really, it just feels too big to keep under wraps. I need you all in on it. And I want you all in on it.

So, dear mamas and papas, I have a request. What kind, encouraging words could your wiser self now give to your back-in-time four-months-pregnant self? What do you wish you knew? Would you be willing to share in the responses below?

~~~
Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, author-in-progress, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and chief creatrix at Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired entrepreneurs. She also writes workbooks and teaches workshops at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs.

Inspired, as ever, by the Domestic Divas, I’ve whipped up a very quick, little guide to the moon phases so we entrepreneuses know what aspects of our businesses (and our bodies) should get what attention when.

Women are lit up by moonlight. The more of the moon you can see in the sky, the more creative, nurturing energy we have.

If you’d like to save a copy for yourself, click on the graphic, use your magnifying glass to make it a smidge bigger, then right-click and choose “save as”.

And if you’re not sure what phase of the moon we’re in, check out this excellent site, MoonConnection.com.

~~~
Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, novelist-in-progress, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and president of Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired entrepreneurs. She also writes workbooks and teaches workshops at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs.

Last weekend’s super moon was awe-inspiring, wasn’t it? Up here in Toronto, she looked a little bigger than usual but so much brighter. Golden. Gorgeous. In the southern hemisphere, my friend, photographer, psychic and all-round wise woman Laurie Anne King, took this photo from near her home in Australia. Magical, huh? (If you like her work, you can see more of her photography right here.)

I’ve long been fascinated by the moon. Years ago, I started charting how my cycle shifted with her phases. Living in a city centre with our disruptive 24-hour lights, often women aren’t able to attune to the moon but I think because of my conscious awareness of it – as well as our heavy black-out curtains in the bedroom – my body could. Gradually, I learned what week in my cycle and what phase of the moon was best for socializing (and which was decidedly NOT). I figured out when to start projects and when to just let things be. Where, in past, I would have been hard on myself for procrastinating, I learned that a shift in my energy would come, so to enjoy the rest instead.

There are many excellent resources for learning about women and the moon. One of my first teachers was holistic reproductive health practitioner Amy Sedgwick of Red Tent Sisters. Then I met yoga goddess Zahra Haji who even developed her own amazing moon charting and yoga practice (which she teaches) called Moon Goddess. Both were inspired by the work of Miranda Gray. Most recently, I’ve fallen head over heels for fellow moon-lovers Sherry Rothwell and Adrian Percy of Domestic Diva. And what follows here is an interview with Sherry, as they even time their newsletters with the moon cycles! I’ve asked Sherry for her insight, especially, into using feminine energy management and moon cycles to nurture our businesses (since we gals are all entrepreneuses here).

It’s a good, long one, so you might want to pour yourself some chilled raspberry leaf tea and lemon and settle in for a good chat. (Sherry is so moon-smart!)

A. It is more relevant than ever for women to be consciously aware of the moon’s phases because there are so many elements of modern living that take us out of sync with them. Never before have we had to play so many roles as women: wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, entrepreneur, CEO, maid, cook etc. We have a lot to do and a lot to be responsible for.

Modern women have more to do yet less support around our basic needs than ever. While I would personally love to live in community (like our ancestors) sharing the domestic work and having a built-in social life – for many of us that lifestyle feels out of reach or inaccessible within the blueprint of our industrialized society.

A. Given all that we currently have on our plates as women and as entrepreneurs, we need greater awareness of our intrinsic feminine blueprint for energy management.  By tapping consciously into the impact that the moon’s phases have on our energy fluctuations throughout the month, we can harness the power of the moon to create harmony in our lives and in our businesses.

In the days before electricity, we didn’t have to use our conscious awareness to be in harmony with the moon’s phases. The increasing and decreasing radiance of the moon would naturally call us into sync with the rising and falling energies of the month.

Unfortunately the very structure of modern life creates an artificial homogenization of our night and day, so that we act as if each day is simply the same as the one before. The world expects us to simply manage our time better when we feel out of sync.

However, the concept of time management does not fit with the unique biology of women. The way we perceive and work with time in industrialized societies does not serve the feminine (nor does it serve our communities and families).

Nature though, provides a perfect rhythm to manage our energy in a way that both calls us to slow down and to rise up in perfect harmony with the fluctuating levels of energy that we feel throughout the each month.

Each of the moon’s phases has a specific energy level and quality. As the light builds, so does our energy and as it recedes, our energy follows suit. We can fight it all we want, but the reality is there is no sense in resisting what is intrinsic to us. If we fight our femininity, we not only experience pain, but we also miss the great mysteries and gifts of being a woman.

On the other hand, when we plan our monthly tasks in sync with our own natural rhythms, not only are we more productive, but our lives naturally feel more harmonious. Visioning and rest are built into our feminine template (or patterning) because it is a necessity, not a luxury.

When we “push the river”, we struggle against the very nature of our femininity and the inherent blueprint we have for managing our energy, our life and our work.

In fact the more we resist the way we feel (when the body says no and the soul is uninspired) and we try to push ourselves to get things done in our business that are not in sync with where we are at in the cycle (or who we are) we end up more unproductive that ever – even if we never stop working!

We’ve all had that experience of trying to force ourselves to finish something (from the ego’s desire to get it done, rather than from a state of inspiration) and  it ends up being a total waste of time or taking six times longer than it should!

When we “push the river”, we struggle against the very nature of our femininity and the inherent blueprint we have for managing our energy, our life and our work. If we follow our natural rhythms though – even if that means stopping – we are more productive overall (and healthier because we attend to both the body and soul’s need for rest and recuperation each month).

Our menstrual or bleeding time is a gift (of slowing down and clear vision) and our inspiration is a signpost that tells us – yes, in fact we are taking the right path or next step. Our intuition speaks through the language of the body and through our feelings about what is occurring in the moment; these are senses that serve a purpose and require our conscious attention.

Taking the time to reflect during our inherent times of increased vision during the new moon ensures that we take action in our business in ways that are in alignment with our values and our purpose. By taking the time slow down and evaluate what serves and what doesn’t, we actually make space for that which we are yet to manifest.

A. The first step is simply becoming aware that the moon impacts our life rhythms, energy and productivity. We do this by taking notice of how our energy and mood fluctuates throughout the month.

Second, anything that attunes us to the natural forces can re-harmonize our bodies with nature’s cycles; for instance, going to bed with the sunset and arising with the sun, eating local food, sleeping in complete darkness during the naturally darkest times of the moon’s phases, taking moonlight walks at night, taking nature into our homes by eating food in the whole form that nature provides, walking barefoot on the earth…

The most telling sign that we are out of sync with the moon is that we bleed at times other than the new moon.

If you notice that the way your energy fluctuates is not in tune with the moon’s phases, that’s okay – just start where you are by tuning into your intuition and acting on tasks that resonate with your energy levels and your inspiration as they are right now.

Another way that we can tell that we are out of sync is when we feel burnt out, unsatisfied or when everything feels hard and there are obstacles at every turn. If you know without a doubt that you are on the right path and giving fully of your gifts in the world, yet your world consistently feels upside-down (or you have a breakdown approximately every 3-4 weeks and you want to throw it all out the window), then the next step is to sync with your natural rhythms so that you can go with the flow, rather than force your way through times of lower energy.

The construct of “time management” is just not reasonable for women due to the inherent physiological forces within our feminine physiology. We bleed, give birth and we are compelled to nurture others – none of these intrinsically feminine forces can be scheduled, nor can they be forced, managed or suppressed if we want to embrace who we are fully.

Childbirth, for example, is the perfect metaphor. Labours that are inhibited or managed by the external will of a caregiver or forced to proceed faster with induction drugs most often result in complications, failure to progress or a complete cessation of labour. Very similarly, if we ignore, suppress or force ourselves to act outside of our true nature, our business will be full of complications, progress very little or we will feel stifled and unable to give birth to the highest expression of ourselves or the true vision and mission of our business.

The alternative to time management for women is managing our energy. Attuning ourselves with the building and receding energies of the moon is one of the many ways that we can manage our energy.

New Moon

This is the time of the month that we are naturally encouraged to become more introspective and introverted. Our energy is at its lowest, making now the best time to rest and rejuvenate. It is the perfect time to vision, set intentions and nurture our creative side. It is also the perfect time to just be with and make sacred space for deep conversation with the women in your life (masterminding).

Waxing Moon

During the waxing moon, our energies are starting to rise again, making the time ripe to start preparing the soil so it’s fertile for upcoming projects (restructuring, foundational work, putting structures and systems in place to support what we will be doing next). Now is the time to get out there and start planting seeds (ideas and new projects) and to communicate (meetings and planning).

Full Moon

The full moon is when our energy is at its peak. Now is the best time to push hard to accomplish that which we envisioned during the new moon. Give yourself permission to work hard and play hard (big project undertakings and development here). If you want to stay up until the wee hours of the morning and ride on the momentum, give yourself permission to flow with it, if you feel so inspired!

Waning Moon

This is the time when our energy begins to recede. It is time to start wrapping things up and finishing tasks that have been weighing on you (ie: invoicing, clearing or reorganizing clutter) so that your life, your home and your business feels spacious. This time of clearing is essential to make space for your new moon visions. You will be more easily able to slow down, relax and rejuvenate during the new moon because those annoying unfinished tasks will no longer be taking up space in your mind.

If you’d like a handy reference guide for the moon phases, click here.

Sherry Rothwell is the co founder of DomesticDiva.ca where she helps women reclaim domestic arts and traditional wisdom.  Sherry is a holistic nutritionist, mother of two and mompreneur who embraces being a woman. Sherry loves sharing feminine mysteries and teaching healing arts through live events, teleseminars, e-courses and private coaching programs.

 

Want to be reminded as we transition in and out of each of the moon’s cycles? Sign up for  the Domestic Diva newsletter so that we can send you a weekly notification by e-mail in service to helping you manage your energy and get in tune with your natural rhythms. www.DomesticDiva.ca

~~~
Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, novelist-in-progress, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and president of Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired entrepreneurs. She also writes workbooks and teaches workshops at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs.

That’s what I learned again in New York City last week. There were deadlines and to-dos (as ever) but I closed up my Pink Elephant email account and hopped a plane so that I could see the cherry blossoms at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden.

Almost three years ago, I was going through wedding magazines while planning our wedding and I tore out one of the most beautiful pictures I’d ever seen. Blush linen tablecloths were draped over tables set beneath the cherry blossom boughs. White chairs circled them. Prettiness on top of prettiness. I thought, “I want to go to there.” So I pinned it to the vision board above my desk and waited for the opportunity.

The invitation came, indirectly, through one Ms. Danielle LaPorte. She was launching her book, The Fire Starter Sessions, last Wednesday. I bought two tickets and then the rest fell into place. (The JetBlue flight out of Buffalo was ridiculously cheap and I used my HotelTonight app to score a $159 hotel downtown!!)

But back to selfishness. There was no true practical need for this trip. And there were lots of other things I SHOULD have been doing (like, say, my taxes). When I got there, though, I realized, those shoulds were (as ever) lies.

We spent the first morning in the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. I soaked up earth energies. I felt my spirit soar first seeing the cherry blossoms, and it somersaulted to smell the lilac grove (dear me, that was a religious experience). The azaleas looked like campfires – so red and orange and lit up in the sunlight. And the Japanese peonies were the size of my head. Ruffled petals in the thousands. To get to them, we walked under trellises of wisteria. I am a flower person (clearly) so this, this was my idea of heaven.

If there is a thing I love nearly as much as spring flowers, it would be modern art, so the next day, we hit MoMA, another of my spiritual homes. For me, seeing a Chagall is what it must feel like for some to bump into George Clooney. Every time I go to MoMA, there is a new piece to steal my heart. (I’ll tell you which did me in in another post.)

I left there, feeling lighter. And fuller. And that is the point. To be of service, we have to be full. We have to be. And you know this, dear entrepreneurs. This isn’t some secret wisdom I’m sharing. But in case no one has given you permission today to seek pleasure, let this be it. You MUST find your garden and your gallery if you’re to be successful.

You must, you must, you must. Because YOU are your cup. And you must runneth over. When you are joy, you spill over your life and all the people in it, and they’re better for it.

And everyone feels like they’ve skipped through a pink-treed pathway, grateful grateful grateful.

You MUST find your garden and your gallery if you’re to be successful.

~~~
Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, novelist-in-progress, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and president of Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired entrepreneurs. She also writes workbooks and teaches workshops at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs.

What is your garden and gallery, dear readers?

A few weeks ago, I was struggling with a decision. It wasn’t a major life decision; it wasn’t a crisis. But it was weighing on me. I’d found a retreat that seemed really inviting. There was lots about it that called to me. But I also felt resistance. Part of which was financial. It would be, for me, a pricey endeavor and would mean wiping out my savings and a little extra.

I wasn’t sure if my discomfort around saying “yes” was an irrational fear that I wouldn’t be able to make that money back, and thus an invitation to take the leap and trust. Or, if the discomfort was because it just wasn’t the right investment of energy for me. I’m sure many of you have been in similar positions.

I am, as you all know, wildly blessed to be surrounded by the likes of you. Healers and generous spirits, wise women and men who wonder about the same things I do. So, I posed this question on my Facebook page, and then delighted in the answers.

Q. How do you tell the difference between good you’re-stepping-out-of-your-comfort-zone-so-of-course-it-feels-weird fear and bad my-instincts-say-no fear? I’m trying to make a decision and my gut is too jumpy to let me properly check in with it.

Otte Rosenkrantz: My favourite response to that is “It’s called ‘Comfort’ Zone for a reason…”

The Communications Distillery: The last time I felt that fearful-but-should-I-anyway feeling, I didn’t go for it … and then I felt a little resentful when my friend DID and succeeded. In retrospect, I wish I’d looked at the potential future. Would you resent NOT doing it? Would you wish you had? What would the Carrie-you-always-dreamed-of-being do (aka WWTCYADOBD)?

Vivian Osal: When making a decision, I will ask myself “Is this a Truthful reflection of who I AM? Is this what I wish to Create for myself?” Remember to take deep breathes to calm your body and mind

Karl Gilmore: Flip-A-Coin

Laura Buchanan: What’s the worst thing that could happen? If you can live with your answer – go for it

Lisa Kelly: Like mentioned above — trying imagining yourself in the future and looking back. Would you have regret for not trying it?

Miriam Verhaar: Like some of the comments above, I ask myself ‘will I regret it if I _don’t_ do it?’ &/or ‘will I regret it if I _do_ it?’. Another question I might ask is do you want to be talked _into_ it? or talked _out_ of it? both sets of questions will give you an idea of the underlying current/feeling. & if there is so much fear that it is paralyzing you from taking action, then it’s probably not the right time to make a decision, or take action.

Jill Murphy: Get second opinions from two people close to you. Even the more clear guts need backup. And, whatever you choose can always be unchosen. Best!

Heather Gray: when I am in that confusion space (of not knowing what the inner guidance is telling me) I go for a walk in nature, drop the mental thinking about it, wait until I feel peace-filled, then I ask anew

Allison Rice: While the surface-level feelings for both sides are the same, I find that, for me, the deep inner voice always knows which it is. I have to take time and create space to check in with myself — and to remove barriers (like feelings of inadequacy or fear of letting someone down) to make the wise/bold choice.

Darryl Patterson: As my biz partner likes to say, “You have a 100% chance of failure if you don’t try.”

Nita Apple: I’m all for following your “gut”, but don’t forget you’re just recovering from the stomach flu, it (your gut) might be sending some physical messages that are left over from the flu. I’m with Heather Gray, create a peace-filled space and ask anew.

Marie Mikkonen: For me the comfort zone version always has an element of YES to it, it can feel like excitement, warmth or passion-fire. The instincts-say-no-fear always reduces my energy in some way. When I go with the fear it usually always includes an element of trying to please someone & I end up wasting both of our time. [just happened recently] Good luck with the decision ♥

Hazel Bissky: Check in with the energy in your body and feel if its heavy or light – heavy is likely a no… if you can’t get centred that’s a sign you’re freaking out about some aspect of what you are doing based on some past memory – try tapping it out – speaking your truth out loud like… I feel scared and I don’t know if this is me or someone else’s fear or if I’m afraid or excited and ( do you know the tapping points? ) if not just tap your crown chakra and third eye and throat centre… while you speak the truth of your confusion and see what comes out – this can be very freeing. Alternatively I feel there is a belief that if you step out of your comfort zone something bad will happen. This is your old belief that is holding back the forward movement – pay attention to it make sure you get to the source of the old memory and then clear it.

Water the Universal Healer: If it isn’t going to hurt you physically or morally, try it, you can always change your mind after

Bettina Goodwin: If there is a sense of peace behind it, then it is your intuition telling you to back away. If it seems more irrational and is full of thoughts swimming around in your head then it is fear that you need to walk through. Try this – picture a door and on the other side of it the decision. Walk up to the door and open it – how do you feel? Step over the threshold – what’s there? You’ve just stepped out of your comfort zone. The ego will never give you a straight answer, only long lists of pros and cons. But the source/connection to Divine, heart/soul will always give you a definitive and right answer.

Nysha Dahlgren: I ask the question before I fall asleep and let my unconscious do the talking!

Radical Creative Sanctuary: Well well Carrie, you are surrounded by some seriously intelligent heart warriors! The most effective method for me was suggested by The Communications Distillery. I know if I imagine the future, or someone else choosing this path, would I be regretful or jealous. Bam. It’s there.

I made my way through this list of inspired suggestions (thank you, all!) and at the end was quite sure my resistance actually had nothing to do with the cost; it was that I didn’t believe I would get the answers for myself that this retreat promised. Not because the retreat wasn’t what it purported to be, but because I wasn’t the right fit. At least not right now. It’s funny how the mind can get in the way, throwing irrelevant, old muck into the mix.

Because I wanted to be absolutely sure about this decision, I doubled-back to Jill’s tip – ask trusted advisors for advice. One of my most trusted advisors is my wise woman psychic intuitive business and life coach Laurie Anne. No one can help me cut through my own muck more quickly, and by the end of our session, she had me feeling very clear that this opportunity wasn’t for me right now. I expected to feel disappointed but, you know, the truth is always liberating, isn’t it? The “no” to this experience washed over me like the sweetest relief.  And I smiled to have been brought just a little closer to my own inner wise woman. The one who knew all along and was patiently waiting for me to hear her. (We just needed a little help from my friends.)

If there’s a decision you’re mulling or there’s any area of your life that could use a zap of otherworldly clarity, I simply cannot recommend Laurie Anne enough.

How do you make decisions when you’re feeling of two minds?

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Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, novelist-in-progress, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and president of Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired entrepreneurs. She also writes workbooks and teaches workshops at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs.