A few weeks ago, I was struggling with a decision. It wasn’t a major life decision; it wasn’t a crisis. But it was weighing on me. I’d found a retreat that seemed really inviting. There was lots about it that called to me. But I also felt resistance. Part of which was financial. It would be, for me, a pricey endeavor and would mean wiping out my savings and a little extra.

I wasn’t sure if my discomfort around saying “yes” was an irrational fear that I wouldn’t be able to make that money back, and thus an invitation to take the leap and trust. Or, if the discomfort was because it just wasn’t the right investment of energy for me. I’m sure many of you have been in similar positions.

I am, as you all know, wildly blessed to be surrounded by the likes of you. Healers and generous spirits, wise women and men who wonder about the same things I do. So, I posed this question on my Facebook page, and then delighted in the answers.

Q. How do you tell the difference between good you’re-stepping-out-of-your-comfort-zone-so-of-course-it-feels-weird fear and bad my-instincts-say-no fear? I’m trying to make a decision and my gut is too jumpy to let me properly check in with it.

Otte Rosenkrantz: My favourite response to that is “It’s called ‘Comfort’ Zone for a reason…”

The Communications Distillery: The last time I felt that fearful-but-should-I-anyway feeling, I didn’t go for it … and then I felt a little resentful when my friend DID and succeeded. In retrospect, I wish I’d looked at the potential future. Would you resent NOT doing it? Would you wish you had? What would the Carrie-you-always-dreamed-of-being do (aka WWTCYADOBD)?

Vivian Osal: When making a decision, I will ask myself “Is this a Truthful reflection of who I AM? Is this what I wish to Create for myself?” Remember to take deep breathes to calm your body and mind 🙂

Karl Gilmore: Flip-A-Coin

Laura Buchanan: What’s the worst thing that could happen? If you can live with your answer – go for it

Lisa Kelly: Like mentioned above — trying imagining yourself in the future and looking back. Would you have regret for not trying it?

Miriam Verhaar: Like some of the comments above, I ask myself ‘will I regret it if I _don’t_ do it?’ &/or ‘will I regret it if I _do_ it?’. Another question I might ask is do you want to be talked _into_ it? or talked _out_ of it? both sets of questions will give you an idea of the underlying current/feeling. & if there is so much fear that it is paralyzing you from taking action, then it’s probably not the right time to make a decision, or take action.

Jill Murphy: Get second opinions from two people close to you. Even the more clear guts need backup. And, whatever you choose can always be unchosen. Best!

Heather Gray: when I am in that confusion space (of not knowing what the inner guidance is telling me) I go for a walk in nature, drop the mental thinking about it, wait until I feel peace-filled, then I ask anew

Allison Rice: While the surface-level feelings for both sides are the same, I find that, for me, the deep inner voice always knows which it is. I have to take time and create space to check in with myself — and to remove barriers (like feelings of inadequacy or fear of letting someone down) to make the wise/bold choice.

Darryl Patterson: As my biz partner likes to say, “You have a 100% chance of failure if you don’t try.” 🙂

Nita Apple: I’m all for following your “gut”, but don’t forget you’re just recovering from the stomach flu, it (your gut) might be sending some physical messages that are left over from the flu. I’m with Heather Gray, create a peace-filled space and ask anew. 🙂

Marie Mikkonen: For me the comfort zone version always has an element of YES to it, it can feel like excitement, warmth or passion-fire. The instincts-say-no-fear always reduces my energy in some way. When I go with the fear it usually always includes an element of trying to please someone & I end up wasting both of our time. [just happened recently] Good luck with the decision ♥

Hazel Bissky: Check in with the energy in your body and feel if its heavy or light – heavy is likely a no… if you can’t get centred that’s a sign you’re freaking out about some aspect of what you are doing based on some past memory – try tapping it out – speaking your truth out loud like… I feel scared and I don’t know if this is me or someone else’s fear or if I’m afraid or excited and ( do you know the tapping points? ) if not just tap your crown chakra and third eye and throat centre… while you speak the truth of your confusion and see what comes out – this can be very freeing. Alternatively I feel there is a belief that if you step out of your comfort zone something bad will happen. This is your old belief that is holding back the forward movement – pay attention to it make sure you get to the source of the old memory and then clear it.

Water the Universal Healer: If it isn’t going to hurt you physically or morally, try it, you can always change your mind after

Bettina Goodwin: If there is a sense of peace behind it, then it is your intuition telling you to back away. If it seems more irrational and is full of thoughts swimming around in your head then it is fear that you need to walk through. Try this – picture a door and on the other side of it the decision. Walk up to the door and open it – how do you feel? Step over the threshold – what’s there? You’ve just stepped out of your comfort zone. The ego will never give you a straight answer, only long lists of pros and cons. But the source/connection to Divine, heart/soul will always give you a definitive and right answer.

Nysha Dahlgren: I ask the question before I fall asleep and let my unconscious do the talking!

Radical Creative Sanctuary: Well well Carrie, you are surrounded by some seriously intelligent heart warriors! The most effective method for me was suggested by The Communications Distillery. I know if I imagine the future, or someone else choosing this path, would I be regretful or jealous. Bam. It’s there.

I made my way through this list of inspired suggestions (thank you, all!) and at the end was quite sure my resistance actually had nothing to do with the cost; it was that I didn’t believe I would get the answers for myself that this retreat promised. Not because the retreat wasn’t what it purported to be, but because I wasn’t the right fit. At least not right now. It’s funny how the mind can get in the way, throwing irrelevant, old muck into the mix.

Because I wanted to be absolutely sure about this decision, I doubled-back to Jill’s tip – ask trusted advisors for advice. One of my most trusted advisors is my wise woman psychic intuitive business and life coach Laurie Anne. No one can help me cut through my own muck more quickly, and by the end of our session, she had me feeling very clear that this opportunity wasn’t for me right now. I expected to feel disappointed but, you know, the truth is always liberating, isn’t it? The “no” to this experience washed over me like the sweetest relief.  And I smiled to have been brought just a little closer to my own inner wise woman. The one who knew all along and was patiently waiting for me to hear her. (We just needed a little help from my friends.)

If there’s a decision you’re mulling or there’s any area of your life that could use a zap of otherworldly clarity, I simply cannot recommend Laurie Anne enough.

How do you make decisions when you’re feeling of two minds?

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Writer Carrie Klassen is a green tea enthusiast, novelist-in-progress, fine point pen aficionado, INFJ Scorpio, and president of Pink Elephant Creative, a website writing and design boutique for inspired entrepreneurs. She also writes workbooks and teaches workshops at Pink Elephant Academy for Entrepreneurs.